Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

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Little Jimmy
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Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by Little Jimmy » Mon Jan 25, 2016 1:05 am

Welcome to the official Fantasy Booking of SassleMania II!

A video highlight is shown of Greg_McNeish celebrating "New Day" style with his McNeish Inc. brethren after winning the 2016 SASS RUMBLE just a few short hours ago.

We should be hearing from Greg soon.

GM Little Jimmy is in the ring and announces that he will be challenging AndyF1069 for the European Sass-lippin' championship at SassleMania II....

But right now there are other issues, and other championships, in fact, to be accounted for. Jimmy is holding in his hands the prestigious Tag Team Sass-lippin' title belts. He announces that due to current tag team champion Greg_McNeish winning the 2016 SASS RUMBLE, the tag titles have been vacated.

Jimmy is about to go on when El Canuck's music hits. Nucks is the other half of the apparent now former tag teams champions. He looks livid.

Nucks demands to know why he wasn't informed that his title was "vacated", and even more importantly, why it was stolen from his bag while he was in the shower? He wonders how they got Greg's title, since he's not even in the arena.

Little Jimmy tells Nucks to simmer down and informs him that a deal was struck with Greg last night to vacate the titles. The only stipulation was that Big Slim and GooberBM (Mcneish Inc.) be named #1 contenders against some other team at SassleMania II - which they now are, apparently.

Nucks asks why he didn't get offered a deal or stipulation, and also, why he didn't just get to pick a new partner if Greg had to vacate?

Jimmy once again reminds Nucks to cool down and explains that he's not in any position to offer an incentive for vacating the title himself. The decision to strip his title goes all the way up the chain of command to WV Forums CEO himself, Paul Nemer.

Paul Nemer's music hits.

Paul is out to a huge ovation but he is quickly cut off by a still irate Nucks.

Little Jimmy urges Nucks not to lose it and reminds him who he's talking to, but Nucks just freakin' flies into it...

Nucks calls Paul a fat and lazy son of a bitch, tells him the site has needed updating for YEARS, we need more theme options and new administration. He accuses Paul of not even caring about the forum and just letting the trolls (like Jimmy) run the place. Nucks says that he could have at least promoted somebody when our only active moderator had a freakin' stroke!

Paul cuts him off.

Paul says that this is exactly why he stripped Nucks' title, and exactly why it was stolen from his bag! His attitude. He screwed himself with his stupid demands. He wanted too many nice things.

Paul says he is sick and tired of all the demands. This is his freakin' forum, he pays the bills, he poured the foundation and he'll update it whenever the hell he goddamn chooses. Frankly, he's sick and tired of all the bitching and whining and crying and complaining. Paul admits that he's read through Nucks' posts in the maintenance thread and other places, but he doesn't see what all the fuss is about. He tells Nucks he's been out of line.

Nucks fires back that if he took proper care of his investment, nobody would need to be out of line! He says that Paul just makes selfish excuses and lets his users commit genocide on the forum. Nucks says Paul is just too stupid to maintain the forum and he misewell just let it die or sell it at this point. He complains a bit more about the lack of theme options and lack of administrators, before reminding Paul that we barely even have an edit button.

Nucks tells Nemer to be a man and honor his commitment and slaps him right across the face! He then challenges him to a match at SassleMania II!

Paul is beet red at this point and as he looks like he is about to explode he suddenly regains composure before doing so. Paul says if you want me at SassleMania II, I'll see you there, kid! It's time to extinguish your petty demands and foolishness once and for all. I'm not too old for a fight. He's not worried about kicking Nucks' ass.

Nucks says it's good not to worry as he knows Paul isn't a very big fan of nice things, because the things he's going to do to him at SassleMania II aren't going to be very freakin' nice!! It's on, he can't wait.

El Canuck vs Paul Nemer is now official for SassleMania II!

An updated card will be posted later.
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by El Canuck » Mon Jan 25, 2016 1:32 am

Sasslemania will never be the same after this one, folks.
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by Little Jimmy » Mon Jan 25, 2016 2:23 am

GooberBM and Big Slim are shown backstage gloating about their guaranteed title shot at SassleMania II. They brag about every single active member of McNeish Inc. having a guaranteed shot at SassleMania gold and how they're taking it all. As for their opponents, a chick with a hockey stick don't scare them. This brings us to the question of who Big Slim and GooberBM will have to overcome to capture the tag team gold...

Aftermath and Legend_Killer approach...

Aftermath is looking for Greg. . . He asks Goob to point him in his direction.

Goob responds by asking what does he want with Greg? Big Slim pipes in and says Greg is very busy preparing for his big title match.

Aftermath apparently has some sort of a freakin' problem with Greg openly admitting that he didn't even vote in his SASS RUMBLE qualifier match. He says not only is that an insult, he had to rub it in their faces by going public about it. Legend_Killer is just hanging out cause he didn't win the SASS RUMBLE and really had nothing else going on. Either this thing or the pre-show, probably - he says.

An arrogant Goob proclaims that if you two losers have a problem with Greg, you've got to go through us; that's why they call us McNeish Inc! You two don't even deserve to stand in the same ring as the Grand Chancellor. First, you've got to beat us. Second, those freakin' bags aren't going to carry themselves! This cues little Jimmy who pops in outta nowhere and makes it official...

GooberBM & Big Slim (McNeish Inc.) vs. Aftermath and Legend_Killer for the vacated Tag Team Sass-lippin' championships at SassleMania II.
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by Little Jimmy » Mon Jan 25, 2016 2:37 am

Here is your updated card...

World Heavyweight Sass-lippin' Championship
Greg_McNeish vs. LondonChick62 (c)

El Canuck vs. Paul Nemer

Tag Team Sass-lippin' Championships
Legend_Killer & Aftermath vs. GooberBM & Big Slim (Mcneish Inc)

European Sass-lippin' Championship
Little Jimmy vs. AndyF1069 (c)
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by Little Jimmy » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:15 am

I can now confirm that isrs4life will defend his Intercontinental Sass-lippin' championship against five other men this year. For the first time in SassleMania history we will be holding a match inside the Sass Chamber. A unique and sassful structure, cold and unforgiving yet brutal and in your face. I have kept the Sass Chamber locked for years, it's location hidden out of fear somebody innocent might stumble into it's haunted existence.

Many years ago I used to keep a Sassquatch held captive inside the Sass Chamber. I thought many times of killing him but my heart always went against it. I grew poor from feeding him, weak from the sass. While expenses grew, my ability to work diminished. Finally I decided to gas the chamber and end the Sassquatch's life inside. Every now and then though when I visit the chamber I can still hear the faint sass of the Sassquatch. Like his ghost is still in there, just waiting to maul whatever poor soul may enter, to sass them to death.

Anyway, the match will be held inside that. The five other participants are yet to be determined.
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by Greg_McNeish » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:46 am

Nucks/Nemer is definitely going to push the Muta Scale.
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by GooberBM » Mon Jan 25, 2016 7:10 am

I'd hate to be the match that has to follow that

*fully expects Jimmy to put the tag title match behind them now
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by Little Jimmy » Mon Jan 25, 2016 1:59 pm

Little Jimmy in the ring to introduce this year's SassleMania celebrity guest, Helen Mirren!

Helen comes out to a standing ovation like she's the queen of England or something - Even little boys in the arena are amazed by her aged but stunning bosom.

Before Helen can speak, eobversion1 (Evan O'Brien) is out to cut her off.

Evan calls Helen Mirren a fake and tells her she doesn't have any class, he continues to run her down and then calls out who he calls a woman with real class, Judi Dench. Evan and Dench insult her a little more as she begins to cry in humiliation.

SilentBob's music hits.

Bob comes out and tells Evan that Helen Mirren is a freakin' Saint, she is one fine piece of gilf ass and he better show her some goddamn freakin' respect.

Bob says he respects Judi Dench as an actress but he doesn't appreciate the way they are disrespecting Helen Mirren right now. He won't stand by and watch it. He calls Evan a nobody.

Judi calls Bob a love struck little boy and tells him he'd never have a chance with a real lady. Bob retorts by asking her what she's even famous for, and she responds by slapping him across the face.

Helen Mirren steps up at this point and decks Judi, then Evan and Bob start going at it and all hell breaks loose.

Security eventually breaks it up.

Little Jimmy later announces that SilentBob w/Helen Mirren vs. eobversion1 w/Judi Dench has been added to SassleMania II.
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by eobversion1 » Mon Jan 25, 2016 4:41 pm

It is a great honour to have Dame Judi in my corner.
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by El Canuck » Mon Jan 25, 2016 5:40 pm

Wouldn't Silent Bob's music be...Silence?
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by GooberBM » Mon Jan 25, 2016 6:25 pm

Jimmy is pretty fun right now
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by Jama7301 » Mon Jan 25, 2016 7:20 pm

BOB
BOB
BOB
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by Greg_McNeish » Tue Jan 26, 2016 11:43 am

El Canuck wrote:Wouldn't Silent Bob's music be...Silence?
That was my initial reaction, too.
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by eobversion1 » Tue Jan 26, 2016 12:50 pm

I elect Handel's Sarabande to be my entrance theme. Nothing but the best for Dame Judi.
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by Greg_McNeish » Tue Jan 26, 2016 1:08 pm

Put a Cork in it, Evan.
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by eobversion1 » Tue Jan 26, 2016 1:54 pm

If that response was any cheesier George Lucas would've cast you as Palpatine in the prequels.
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by Little Jimmy » Tue Jan 26, 2016 8:20 pm

The five spots in the Intercontinental Sass-lippin' Championship match are the last remaining spots on the card, just so everyone knows. That's why I'm taking my time to select them.

There will still be a preshow, however.
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by Jama7301 » Wed Jan 27, 2016 1:09 am

According to a report from Doctor Jim Tokbak, Jama will not be medically cleared to compete at SassleMania, after he suffered significant damage to his sarcasm joint, and his ASassL tendon. There is a chance with rehab, he may be able to sass again, but the odds aren't as great as we'd like them to be.
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by Little Jimmy » Wed Jan 27, 2016 1:22 am

That's terrible. :(

Well I guess we'll have to take you off the card, then.

Oh, wait...

#InjuryProne
#LetTheFansDown
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Re: Fantasy Booking SassleMania II

Post by Jama7301 » Wed Jan 27, 2016 1:41 am

While I can't compete, I wouldn't miss this show for the world. So during my rehab, I will also prepare myself to join the commentary team for the biggest event of the year... SASSLEMANIA!
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