The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Thu Feb 20, 2014 11:26 pm

Wrestle Pro Newletter


Winners and Losers - Monday Night Raw - September 3, 2013
Editorial by WPN Forum Member Heelz4Reelz

In the aftermath of a dreadful Night of Champions PPV, I'm here to tell you who the winners and losers are from last night's Monday Night Raw.

Winners

Christian
One of the few good things to come out of this silly Beat the Clock tournament (Which isn't a real tournament by the way, there's only 1 round, duh) is that Christian will be getting his shot at carrying the title. He can go on to prove that Edge and Christian weren't the typical tag team, that both of them are hall of fame caliber. No Marty in this squad.

Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins
Those two sure put that fucking giant in his place tonight. It's good on them to latch onto HHH for now, just so they can be built up. When the Authority crumbles, these two will be primed for main event runs of their own. Ambrose also shined when he absolutely CRUSHED The Miz in the backstage promo. He's right, saying the Miz has nothing to offer and that he is old news. Step aside you fucking failed actor and let the WRESTLERS do their things. None of this "entertainer" bullshit.

Antonio Cesaro
Two of the best went into that ring to see who's best was better than the other's best. He may have lost, but he looked like a future champion in this match.

Damien Sandow
SILENCE FOR YOUR NEW CHAMPION!

Losers

Daniel Bryan
Not only did he get ABSOLUTELY ROBBED last night by Evolution 2.0 of HHH, Orton, Big Show and Stephanie, but now he's not even allowed to compete in this Beat the Clock tournament that Triple Hate set up! HOW CAN THERE BE SIX-MOTHERFUCKING-TEEN MORE PEOPLE QUALIFIED THAN DANIELSON???

The Rhodes Family
One of the most illustrious wrestling families in North American has been reduced to rubble, just so HHH can stroke his ego. "Oh look at me, I married the bosses daughter, watch me bury Dusty, the man that helped legitimize wrestling, and his sons, just because I fear they may overshadow me because they have talent". Fuck this angle.

Rob Van Dam
Of course they'd take the strap off of him after one day. They're still holding a grudge from when he was arrested on those pot charges. The WWE holds more grudges than a wife, for fuck's sake. The guy was batshit over, and putting out MOTY quality matches on a monthly basis. What I would have done is pair him off with Danielson and they could've fought over that Heavyweight Championship for months, and stole every award in the book. But no, UnCreative had to be petty and hold his past against him.

Anyone Associated with Ryback
This hurts to type, because Heyman's feud with CM Punk is so good, but they've continued to keep RyBlah associated with Heyman. Goldberg Lite will only end up tarnishing the legacy of Paul Heyman. Heyman has worked with superstars from all sorts of promotions, but he can't work his magic on this walking meathead waste of space. Axel was progressing nicely with Heyman, but now he's been supplanted by Ryback, and I'm truly saddened by this. Such a waste of potential...

Not only did RyBad drag down anything with Punk and Heyman, but he beat Yoshi Tatsu... Tatsu has some real potential to do shit on this roster, but the xenophobic nature of this goddamn company keeps him from even being on TV.

I don't even know what to say anymore. This company is clearly out of touch with its audience. If they'd just watch Ring of Honor, they could see how to build a rabid fanbase that caters to the adult market in wrestling. You can survive as a top brand without pandering to those shit-smelling children who do nothing but dumb down the product. If you watch the Attitude Era, ratings were through the roof, and attendance figures were sky-high for the adult demographic. That's how the WWF won out, they went where the money was located, in the 18-35 demographic.


Man, I bet that CZW's next show will draw a better crowd than WWE Battlegrounds ( by the way, Sheamus should just stay gone, and away from microphones.) At least THEY'LL be invested in the product.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Greg_McNeish » Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:05 am

For the record, Night of Champions took place in a sold-out Angels Stadium, in Anaheim. I'm sure Battleground will do fine.

I'm sure I've heard that "see whose best is better than the other guy's best" line before, somewhere....
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:10 am

Since when does logic work with people like this?

Mimicry is the highest form of Flattery, or so they say.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Greg_McNeish » Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:21 am

I marked out for "SIX-MOTHERFUCKING-TEEN".
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Fri Feb 21, 2014 2:48 pm

Well, you gave me the material to work with.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by El Canuck » Sat Feb 22, 2014 2:08 am

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute...SANDOW IS THE CHAMPION?!?!
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Greg_McNeish » Sat Feb 22, 2014 2:48 am

You're welcome.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Greg_McNeish » Sat Feb 22, 2014 5:06 am

Wednesday, Week 3, Sept 2013

18 days until WWE Battleground

WWE Main Event


The show begins with a video recapping the events surrounding the World Heavyweight Championship, on Raw, culminating in Damien Sandow successfully cashing in his MITB, to become the new champ.
A

The Great Khali defeated Curt Hawkins in 0:48 by pinfall with a Punjabi Plunge.
The Party Starter... didn't.
C

Video recap of Stephanie McMahon giving Dusty Rhodes an ultimatum to choose which of his sons got their job back, leading to Big Show knocking him out, under her orders.
B+

Renee Young welcomes her guest, The Miz. He's got a match with Fandango tonight, to settle the score between them, but she wants to know if his run-in with Dean Ambrose on Raw will be a distraction. Not at all, he says. Ambrose isn't exactly the first guy to say that The Miz doesn't have the goods to cut it in the WWE. That's all he's heard since the day he walked in the door, when everyone just thought he'd be hosting Smackdown until his reality show fame wore off, then disappear. Why he's lasted so long, and had the success that he has, is because he doesn't listen to what people say about him; he just does things that keep them talking. Maybe Dean Ambrose should spend more time worrying about keeping his bosses happy, and less time worrying about what people say about him on a talk show panel. Back to tonight, though, Fandango has been a thorn in his side for a while now, trying to make a name of The Miz' fame. He can't fault the guy for that, but Fandango is about to learn that if you want to make a name in the WWE, you have to earn it, and you can only do that by backing it up in the ring. That's what The Miz does, to silence all the naysayers, and that is why he is awesome.
B+

The Shield (Rollins & Reigns) defeated Prime Time Players in 6:42 when Seth Rollins defeated Darren Young by pinfall with a Skywalker.
Definitely a game effort from the Prime Time Players. The Tag Team Champions wore down Titus O'Neil, but Darren Young flew into action. Just as he was about to finish off Seth Rollins with his double-knee gutbuster, Roman Reigns ripped him in half with a spear, and Rollins finished the job.
A

Renee Young is joined by Fandango and Summer Rae, for comments on his match tonight against The Miz. Fandango makes her say his name a few more times, until she lets the "a"s properly breathe, then says that he heard what The Miz said earlier, about him needing to back up what he says and does in the ring. A painter cannot create a masterpiece without a canvas, and an artist like Fandango has a canvas of his own, in the ring, upon which he can create whatever he wants. Tonight, The Miz will be a player in his theatre, a prop in his production, a colour on his palette, and it will all be signed with the flourish of — getting Renee to say it with him — Fan... dan... go....
A

A video plays, recapping Daniel Bryan's night on Raw, from being denied another opportunity at the WWE Championship, to defeating Antonio Cesaro.
A

The Miz defeated Fandango in 8:40 by pinfall with a Skull Crushing Finale.
Both men came in motivated, and laid it all on the line. Turning point came when Summer Rae climbed onto the apron to yell at Miz, and Fandango came rushing in to attack. Miz sidestepped, and gave Fandango a shove towards Summer. Fandango held up just in time, throwing his arms up in an exaggerated stop motion. Miz hooked those raised arms, and delivered a finale of the skull-crushing variety.
A


Final Rating: B+
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Sat Feb 22, 2014 5:11 am

And with that Fandango promo, my heart grew three sizes that day.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Mon Mar 03, 2014 1:59 pm

Main Event Rapid Reaction
By WPN Columnist, and forum member Heelz4Reelz

Another fucking Raw Recap to start this show... Remember when wrestling shows started with a match, not a recap of events or a promo? Me too, better times then. Sandow winning the World Heavyweight Championship, and Validating himself as a big time player is nice to see, instead of the usually Cena bullshit.

Rating: C-

WHY CURT WHY? Fucking WWE couldn't have even made this a competitive match, showcasing Hawkin's talent and charisma, but NOOOOOOOOO, they have that fucking Stilted Retard Kahli just bury him to the fucking core of the Earth. Vince needs to take all the shriveled, roided, big guy dick out of his mouth, and let guys who can actually WRESTLE on his shows.

Raging: F-------___--------_____-----

Oh look... another recap showing HHH's old drinking buddies. Big Slow knocking out a real wrestler like Dusty Rhodes after Bitchy Levesque chewed him out. I'm so sick of the Authority and centering on HHH's friends.

Rating: F+

Renee Young and The Miz? Fuck this I'm out of here.

Rating: F-

Show Rating: F---

I have a word obligation, so I'm just going to rant a bit, blah blah blah. If you haven't seen Curt Hawkins match with El Generico down in NXT, you would see why I'm so pissed off at Vince. This guy could put on a 20 minute clinic with Daniel Bryan, or CM Punk, but Vince won't even give him a chance. Remember when wrestlers were wrestlers and they got over based on their in-ring skills? It's what makes ROH such a great promotion! If Vince would just take a page out of Silkin's book, the WWE would be the biggest AND the best wrestling promotion in the world! Imagine, great technical wrestling, with the edge of the Attitude Era... It would literally print money. Vince, if you need a talent scout, and/or a booker, feel free to email me at itsdamntrue316@Lynkos.com.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Greg_McNeish » Mon Mar 03, 2014 2:18 pm

Cool. I broke him.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by GooberBM » Mon Mar 03, 2014 2:19 pm

I'm sitting here with my mouth agape. I just don't know, man. I just don't know
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Mon Mar 03, 2014 2:20 pm

Yeah, he didn't even cover the Shield or Fandango. That bastard.

I do feel dirty though, I had to look up the Ring of Honor name.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Greg_McNeish » Mon Mar 03, 2014 3:55 pm

That is pretty filthy. Almost as filthy as there now being a ticket to an ROH show sitting 6 inches from my left elbow.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Mon Mar 03, 2014 4:13 pm

But New Japan is part of that show. That makes it better.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by GooberBM » Mon Mar 03, 2014 4:14 pm

But he GAVE his money to ROH
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Mon Mar 03, 2014 4:15 pm

Think of it like a charity donation.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Greg_McNeish » Mon Mar 03, 2014 4:19 pm

Doesn't make it less filthy. Just means that I'm willing to accept the filth, to get the prize.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Mon Mar 03, 2014 4:20 pm

C'est la vie.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by El Canuck » Mon Mar 03, 2014 5:55 pm

Greg_McNeish wrote:Doesn't make it less filthy. Just means that I'm willing to accept the filth, to get the prize.
It's like someone at RoH asked how they could capture that elusive Greg McNeish demographic and the answer was New Japan.
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