The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Fri Jan 17, 2014 3:04 pm

Wrestle Pro Newsletter

WWE Night of Champions Preview
By: Irvin Wayne Clarke

Another month, and it's time for another WWE Pay-Per-View, so it's time to break down the Card from bottom to top.

Natalya vs Brie Bella vs Cameron vs AJ Lee (c) for the Diva's Championship
Easily the weakest match of the announced card. AJ has been carrying the division, and now she's defending against not one, but THREE members of the Total Diva's cast. Natalya being in this match, while being part of the Total Diva's cast, kind of makes up for it, due to her raw talent in the ring. AJ and Natalya's technical acumen might not be enough to bring this match up to par, but I think it's time to put the belt on Nattie. She's got the pedigree, the training, and the skill. What's not to like about having a champion with those credentials?

Prediction: Natalya via Sharpshooter

Tons of Funk vs The Shield (Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns) (c's) for the WWE World Tag Team Championships
It's a good thing the Shield have the token big-guy enforcer in their fold. While Reigns has been merely window dressing in the Shield, he might need to wear down Tons of Funk in order for Seth Rollins to finish the deal. Rollins has grown by leaps and bounds since being called to the main roster, and should've been called up sooner. He works up to his competitor's level, so leaving him in NXT was a bad call, but that's a story for another day. Tons of Funk are just here to be a filler title defense. I predict that next month the Shield face some real competition for the tag titles, and ten the Shield can work on bigger and better things in time for the Royal Rumble.

Prediction: The Shield via Blackout

Dolph Ziggler vs Dean Ambrose (c) for the United States Championship
Ziggler is just treading water until a spot in the main event opens up. He's been struggling as a babyface since being turned at Payback, when he lost the title to Del Rio (what a train wreck that was). If he had stayed heel, he could've been competing against RVD, Bryan, or Punk. There would have been a much better variety in the main event, had that concussion that sparked the turn never happened. Because of these facts, Ambrose has this easily.

Prediction: Ambrose via Headlock Driver

CM Punk vs Curtis Axel & Paul Heyman
In a match that's been building since Money in the Bank, Punk looks to gain some retribution on his former best friend and manager. Curtis Axel has seen a boost of success since being redebuted as a Heyman Guy, and he's the holder of the prestigious Intercontinental Championship. While Axel has grown leaps and bounds, he's paired with a non-wrestler, and all of Paul's tricks won't help him against the man he mentored, the best in the world, CM Punk.

Prediction: CM Punk via Anaconda Vise (on Axel) & GTS (on Heyman)

Rob Van Dam vs Alberto Del Rio (c) for the World Heavyweight Championship
Refreshing to see RVD back on WWE TV. He looked so unmotivated in TNA. Del Rio, the charisma-less nebula, has gotten the upper hand on RVD of late, ever since RVD stole Ricardo from Del Rio. So all signs point to a title change here, and let the glorious reign of ROB... VAN... DAM begin! RVD wins, and carries the title to the Royal Rumble.

Prediction: RVD via Five-Star Frog Splash

Daniel Bryan vs Randy Orton (c) for the WWE Championship
Randy Orton has been riding the Authority's coattails for the last month, with HHH having Orton's back at all turns, of course. I think Bryan is talented, and resiliant enough to overcome this though. The way I see it is that Bryan as champion, rebelling against the Authority is the best story the WWE can give us. A fighting champion that proves his worth in the ring, overcoming all the obstecals that are thrown his way while retaining the title. Story writes itself til Wrestlemania. Orton served his purpose turning and establishing the Authority's mindset, so he doesn't need the title anymore.

Prediction: Daniel Bryan via Running Knee

Final Thoughts
The card looks average on paper, so it'll probably be below average in execution. There are too few announced matches for this card to make it interesting. What's going on with Cesaro, Sandow and Kidd? Couldn't they have given us two more matches to give us a reason to give a damn? Apart from the top two title matches, Punk, and Ambrose, there's not a lot to look forward to.

On Paper Score: **1/2
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Greg_McNeish » Fri Jan 17, 2014 3:45 pm

Glorious. Wrestle Pro Newsletter is officially entered in the predictions game. If this wins, you get to choose a Main Event match, but must do it in character.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Fri Jan 17, 2014 3:56 pm

Clarke has different bases than our friend Heelz4Reelz
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Greg_McNeish » Fri Jan 17, 2014 4:11 pm

I leave it open-ended for readers to submit as many IWC prediction sets as they'd like, each eligible to win. The only condition is that they have to provide hilarious commentary. Whichever entry wins, the prize must be redeemed in the character submitted.

Because, yeah, I'm totally doing this diary so that I can read the IWC reports. Telling my own story is secondary, and probably tertiary.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Fri Jan 17, 2014 4:18 pm

It took me a minute to find a proper name for the columnist for WPN. I feel like I nailed it.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by El Canuck » Fri Jan 17, 2014 4:24 pm

Nailed it you did, good sir.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by GooberBM » Fri Jan 17, 2014 5:28 pm

Greg_McNeish wrote:I leave it open-ended for readers to submit as many IWC prediction sets as they'd like, each eligible to win. The only condition is that they have to provide hilarious commentary. Whichever entry wins, the prize must be redeemed in the character submitted.

Because, yeah, I'm totally doing this diary so that I can read the IWC reports. Telling my own story is secondary, and probably tertiary.
Challenge: Accepted

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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Fri Jan 17, 2014 5:33 pm

Fuck it, I'm not sending in more than 1 IWC report per PPV, because fuck that mindset.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by GooberBM » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:00 pm

The Written Transcript of the Youtube post of ECDubHeymanGuy's Night of Champions Preview Video

WWE Championship
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton (c)
This is the match I should be most excited for but this is the one I want to see the least. I want Bryan Danielson to win. He deserves it. He's been fighting and clawing for over a decade when nobody thought he could get here to the WWE, that he couldn't be a real superstar, that he didn't have the charisma to get the women and kids behind him, that he couldn't be the WWE champion, and he's proven everyone wrong every step of the way.

And then there's Randy Orton, the guy who has gotten about 47 chances to succeed even when he's done everything he can to screw up his career and his life in general. And yet here we are again with Orton being shoved down our throats again.

The guy who shouldn't be here vs. The guy who gets every chance. I know who I'd pick, but Vince is so biased that he'll never do it. He'll never give Bryan the ball to run.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio (c)

ROB~!
VAN~!
DAM~!
*Does the thumb pose*

And if Sandow tries to cash it in on him, he's going to eat that briefcase with a Van Terminator

WWE United States Championship
Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose (c)

If these guys get 15 minutes, this will steal the show. No pun intended. Ziggler can definitely keep up with Ambrose but if they get time everyone that isn't a believer will be on the Jon Moxley bandwagon, I said it. Jon Fucking Moxley. Give him the chance to show the WWE "Universe" what he's really made of and you'll have a superstar on your hands. Or just put him in there with William Regal and let them teach everyone how it's done

CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman & Curtis Axel

This is going to be so glorious. I really think Punk deserves a good 20 minutes here. Just long enough to make Axel look like a threat then get him out of the way so Punk and Heyman can make magic. Their chemistry is so ridiculous that I could watch them keep this up for the rest of the year. Sure I think Punk wins, but maybe someone new will become a Heyman Guy just to give Punk fresh meat to fight with for a little while longer. Just as long as this one keeps going because there's nobody I want to see Punk FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT more than Paul E Dangerous

WWE Divas Championship
Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. Naomi vs. AJ Lee (c)

Picking the one I want to have sex with the most to win. Seems the most reasonable way to pick

WWE Tag Team Championship
Tons of Funk vs. The Shield (Rollins & Reigns) (c's)

This is the most throwaway of throwaway matches. Wake me up with The Rhodes Family comes back and I can start caring about the rest of The Shield

Overall, this card has potential but they've got to have the courage to make the right choices: Give Ziggler and Ambrose time to shine, keep Punk and Heyman going cause they're the most consistent story on the show, and for the love of fucking God, show some grapefruits Vince and Triple H and Stephanie and put the WWE Championship on Bryan Danielson right now while he's the hottest wrestler on the planet

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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Greg_McNeish » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:04 pm

The logic on that Divas call is flawless.
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Jama7301
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:05 pm

I feel dirty for reading that.

Well done.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by GooberBM » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:39 pm

I felt so dirty writing it. I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE everything about Naomi

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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by El Canuck » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:41 pm

I'm sure that was a trying experience for you. But well done, good man, well done.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Greg_McNeish » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:50 pm

Ball's in your court, Nucks, if you'd like to join the scandalous IWC train.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by GooberBM » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:52 pm

Translation: Please bring some of your sweet Carny lovin' to this party

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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by El Canuck » Fri Jan 17, 2014 7:12 pm

I already made my predictions, and I'm knee deep in my outlines right now, trying to determine how each of the central PoV characters stories unfold from book to book. Which I have to get done tonight, as I have an early rise tomorrow and will likely be exhausted by tomorrow evening to the point where looking at the outlines is a pipedream, and I told my muse I'd have them done for her to look over before the weekend ended. So, I'm trying to get ahead of my homework, so to speak.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Fri Jan 17, 2014 9:32 pm

Greg_McNeish wrote:
Because, yeah, I'm totally doing this diary so that I can read the IWC reports. Telling my own story is secondary, and probably tertiary.
I'm surprised it came to this.

It just started as a joke... And then it developed a life of its own.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Greg_McNeish » Fri Jan 17, 2014 9:42 pm

You'll be pleased to know that R-Truth's ENTIRE involvement has been based off that initial report that he was on the chopping block.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Jama7301 » Fri Jan 17, 2014 9:45 pm

Shame on you. You don't need to pull a TNA here.
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Re: The Face of the WWE (Simulation)

Post by Greg_McNeish » Fri Jan 17, 2014 9:53 pm

The difference between TNA & I is that I only take the good ideas from the dirt sheets. Also that I don't have it envelope the show. Also that it's integrated into what's happening, rather than derailing. Also that it's used as inspiration, rather than a script. Et cetera.
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