Not funny enough for it's own thread

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That_Damn_Good
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Post by That_Damn_Good » Thu Jun 26, 2008 12:12 pm


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PastorofMuppets
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Post by PastorofMuppets » Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:37 am

MARIJUANA FILLED FIREWOOD



''Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?''

Yes what can I do for you?' 'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil
Smith....He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how
he gets it inside them logs , but he's hidin' it there.' 'Thank you very
much for the call, sir.'The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on
Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using
axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but; find no marijuana. They
sneer at Virgil and leave.Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's
house.'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?' 'Yeah!''Did they
chop your firewood?' 'Yep!''Happy Birthday, buddy!'(Rednecks know how to
git-R-dun).

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PastorofMuppets
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Post by PastorofMuppets » Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:38 am

TVS wrote:
That's pretty damn good That_Damn_Good. I think everyone needs to go read this...
where has nemer been lately?
i dont remember reading any news stories on the main page from him
or posts here in ages

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Aussie_Wolf
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Post by Aussie_Wolf » Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:56 pm

PastorofMuppets wrote:
TVS wrote:
That's pretty damn good That_Damn_Good. I think everyone needs to go read this...
where has nemer been lately?
i dont remember reading any news stories on the main page from him
or posts here in ages
Obviously he's been spending time in the backwater we Aussies call South Australia
SHHH! Quiet! You might piss somebody off!

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coco
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Post by coco » Tue Aug 05, 2008 3:25 pm

A little musical humor... really clever rant

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM
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towney007 wrote:Oh and btw... to the 'duhhhhhhhh *drool* Taker don't wear no suitz~' comment: **Shows picture of Calaway in a suit**
Svck my d~ck with sh!t on it.

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metallicamaniac
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Post by metallicamaniac » Tue Aug 05, 2008 7:23 pm

Image
Image
Dusk dismantled
Combustion's convergence with our existence
Dusk dismantled
We are the infinitesimal

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PastorofMuppets
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Post by PastorofMuppets » Wed Aug 20, 2008 1:24 pm


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Chrissy Benny Wah
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Post by Chrissy Benny Wah » Wed Aug 20, 2008 6:39 pm

Image

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ScToTeE
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Post by ScToTeE » Wed Aug 20, 2008 7:43 pm

Chrissy Benny Wah wrote:Image
That is hilarious!

:lol:

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getwarped
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Post by getwarped » Wed Aug 27, 2008 11:11 pm

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gutterhippo
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Post by gutterhippo » Sun Aug 31, 2008 1:25 am

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metallicamaniac
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Post by metallicamaniac » Sun Sep 21, 2008 8:30 pm

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection, and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.

He was 71.

Doughboy is survived by his loving wife, Play Dough, their two children, John Dough, Jane Dough, who has a bun in the oven, and by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

Doughboy's final resting place was piled high with flour.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Doughboy rose quickly to fame in show business, but his life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his time, efforts, and dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still even as a crusty old man, served as a roll model for millions.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

His faithful followers say he will rise again.
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Dusk dismantled
Combustion's convergence with our existence
Dusk dismantled
We are the infinitesimal

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gutterhippo
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Post by gutterhippo » Sun Sep 28, 2008 5:02 am

Image
Image

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The Professional
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Post by The Professional » Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:24 pm

An early cartoon from the pen of the one and only Carl Giles...

Image
Image
foleyisgood wrote:^^Aha, I see you've returned to spread peace and love throughout the forums!
http://www.fanfiction.net/~theprofessional

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endless
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Re: Not funny enough for it's own thread

Post by endless » Mon Sep 29, 2008 1:54 pm

Image
Damn that girl can sell.
Image

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Aussie_Wolf
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Re: Not funny enough for it's own thread

Post by Aussie_Wolf » Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:48 pm

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student name
Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.Who said
"Give me Liberty , or give me Death"?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his
hand up:"Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.

"Very good!"

Who said "Government of the People, by the People, for the People,
shall not perish from the Earth?"

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar.

"Abraham Lincoln, 1863" said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed.
Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its
history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Fvck the Indians!"
"Who said that?" she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up.
"General Custer, 1862."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares around and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Chandrasekhar says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,
1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the
teacher ,"Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said "You little sh!t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice,

" Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004."

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on
the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're fvcked!"

And Chandrasekhar said quietly,

"I think it was George Bush, Iraq , 2007."
SHHH! Quiet! You might piss somebody off!

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PastorofMuppets
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Re: Not funny enough for it's own thread

Post by PastorofMuppets » Thu Oct 02, 2008 7:40 pm

9 Things I Hate About Everyone



1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?


4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!


5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?


7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.


8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

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El Rockero
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Re: Not funny enough for it's own thread

Post by El Rockero » Thu Oct 02, 2008 10:42 pm

TVS wrote:
PastorofMuppets wrote:No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
There sure are a ton of people in my city that spend $12 to talk loud on their phones and get bl0wjobs in the back row.

Sorry about that...I'll try to be a little more quiet...
Image

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Supro
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Re: Not funny enough for it's own thread

Post by Supro » Fri Oct 03, 2008 1:42 am

TVS wrote:
PastorofMuppets wrote:No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
There sure are a ton of people in my city that spend $12 to talk loud on their phones and get bl0wjobs in the back row.

Hmm, I must come to one of these back rows.


Hehe. Come.
Image

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PastorofMuppets
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Re: Not funny enough for it's own thread

Post by PastorofMuppets » Fri Oct 03, 2008 9:33 am

The Republican Fisherman


A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.
She shouted to him, 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend
I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'
The fisherman consulted his portable GPS and replied, 'You're in a
hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of
2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north
latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.'
She rolled her eyes and said, 'You must be a Republican.'
'I am,' replied the man. 'How did you know?'
'Well,' answered the balloonist, ' everything you told me is
technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your
information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me'
The man smiled and responded, 'You must be a Democrat.'
'I am,' replied the balloonist. 'How did you know?'
'Well,' said the man, 'You don't know where you are or where you are
going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot
air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you
expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position
you were in before we met, but somehow, now you think it's my fault.'

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